Am I Just a Toy to You?
by lclsurfer
Summary: Servants to the Akatsuki, they try to escape to their freedom.  Playing with their minds and letting them do all the labor, of course they’re still people aside from the fact they like killing.  Sometimes they just want to have fun.
1. Cleaning is for Toys

_Servants to the Akatsuki, they try to escape to their freedom. Only to be killed if caught or made three mistakes in their life serving them. Playing with their minds and letting them do all the labor, of course they're still people aside from the fact they like killing. Sometimes they just want to have fun. To Akatsuki, servants are just toys that can be tossed away easily. Fifth story! (Warning: story may change from summary)_

**Toy 1**

**Cleaning is for Toys**

(poke) (poke) (poke) (pokes harder) (jabs in the stomach) Sakura was trying to wake Sasori. He never wanted to be late so it was Sakura's job to wake them up. Mainly she just wakes up the lazy asses. Sasori was snoring so loudly. He was already thirty minutes late to breakfast.

Almost everybody in the Akatsuki were sparring with each other now. When I say almost everybody, I don't mean it. Hidan was practicing his religion. All over his door says JOIN JASSHINISM OR DIE. Not that anyone ever does, anyways Itachi and Kisame were already up. (They make a great couple! I support you! Don't be shy!) Kakuzu was outside stealing other people's hearts_ again. _Deidara explodes anyone who goes in the room or even tries to wake him up. So the servants avoid him. Tobi was already up being cheerful. He never kills anyone. Zetsu has scary plants and dead people waiting to be eaten by him. So anyone that goes inside usually has to take therapy and take the rest of the day off. No one goes inside the Leader's room or the flowery guy's because that one is always locked. But whenever you pass it and see Akatsuki nearby it, you can hear them saying, "Come on. Get out! You don't have to lock yourself up just because a ugly fatty rejected you."

Some servants swore they heard that guy reply back by saying, "No! And she's not fat or ugly! Just because she has warts and pimples and a greasy head and wears extra extra extra extra extra extra gigantic size and weighs 657 pounds and black spots on her forehead and looks really green like she keeps vomiting and she farts and burps and melted skin everywhere and everything disgusting, IT DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S UGLY OR FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME CRY IN PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" All her life, Sakura has been serving Akatsuki ever since she was five, she's always lived there. Anyways, back to the story! I'm drifting away from it!

"Sasori. Sasori. Sasori. Sasori! Sasori!! Sasori!!! SASORI!!!!!!!!!!!! Got damn it! I still have to wake up Zetsu!" Sakura took out her trumpet and started blowing it in his ear. _Grr……I hate puppets! They never feel anything! __**THEN SHAKE HIM ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!! USE YOUR LAST RESORT AND ATTACK HIS WEAK SPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **__Hmm, that's a good idea! Time to kill him, but won't get killed by the others? __**NO!!!!!!!!!! THEY DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER THAT OROCHIMARU WAS KILLED WHEN HE WAS STILL HERE AND THEY DIDN'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN OROCHIMARU, HOW COME HE'S IMMORTAL LIKE HIDAN AND KAKUZU!!!!!!!!! **__STOP ANNOYING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"Time to go bye bye forever Sasori!" She always kept a knife just in case she had a chance. As she dived to stab him, a cold hand took hold of her wrist. A loud crack was heard. She cried as blood gushed out.

"Sheesh! I was just dreaming about food and then I see you trying to kill me. Make up your mind woman! Kill me or wake me up! I mean, there's an obvious answer to that. Oh yeah, I read your mind and stop complaining. Thinking is for strategies! Not complaining. Ugh. I think you gave me a headache. I think I should let Ino wake me up. She's a lot better than you. I should change your job. Yeah, let's change it to clean the bathroom. Let Ino do all the easy stuff. However, you're so lame on all the jobs though…I'm changing your job to cleaning and dumping the trash instead. Naruto's loud. He would help. Anyways, you made me forty-five minutes late. Because of that, you now have one strike. Two more and you're dead."

Sakura was getting annoyed even though she should have already been used to this stuff. Sasori easily pushed her buttons to make her go crazy. Well, all of them criticized the servants. But they still got on her nerves because they knew their weaknesses and who they hate the most. She flinched. Sakura was close to falling over. She was going to faint from blood loss.

"Now go clean yourself up. You're staining the floor."

When she reached the doorway, she muttered, "Oh yeah well, Deidara's hot and you're not!" Then she turned her head and stuck her tongue out. Sasori slammed the door right in her face so fast that her face was slammed at the door. _Haha! I annoyed him!_

When she went into the kitchen, she found Naruto trying to stuff the remains of breakfast into the trash can. "Naruto! We're switching. So that means you have to wake up Zetsu. Sasori switched me before I could get to him. Oh, stop making that face. You can use Rasengan to pass through."

Naruto gulped and reluctantly, he went to the bedrooms. The servants were used to the switching. Hinata was the one that didn't switch because she was the only one that satisfied them with cooking. Even though all the food looked like Naruto, no body cared because if anybody else cooked ate it, they would suffer from bad food or tasteless food.

"Where's my food? Yeah" Deidara came in and was already dressed so that meant that he was going somewhere.

"Ah! Here you go! Pancakes stacked to the ceiling. Um…are you sure you can eat that?"

"Yup! Yeah. I had a bet that I can survive a month without eating anything. Yeah. That includes drinking so give me five gallons of water. Yeah"

"Uh, Tenten? Can you get that? Sakura! You help too!"

"No! I don't need help! I'm strong enough to carry an elephant."

(Sighs) "Hinata, stop playing with the food and give me something to eat already. I want to see Tobi eat something now. Yes! Make him live lizards and salamanders, maybe throw in some spiders and something natural! What did I just say? Stop being obsessed with Naruto! Everyone knows!" Sasori was looking at a worm.

Hinata blushed and hurriedly gave him cereal. Go Lucky Charms! Naruto came back with scratches everywhere. Zetsu was behind him with a hand sticking out of his mouth.

"Zetsu! What did I tell you about eating people in the kitchen?! It's going to make me sick." Itachi came in with a tired look. Kisame was on the point of throwing up.

"But I'm hungry and Naruto made me! Anyways, Akatsuki meeting at three so you better be there!" Then Zetsu completely slurped the hand into his mouth like a noodle.

Deidara was still forking down the pancakes.

One hour later…

Deidara is still eating pancakes.

Three hours later…Skip lunch, no one feels like eating it right now

Finally, he finished. Itachi and Sasori were sparring with each other. Kisame was still sick. He would've recovered but he asked Deidara what kind of pancakes were they because they smelled delicious. And he said fish pancakes. Hidan was out killing people for his religion. Kakuzu came back and he said he was too old for this. Tobi was having a staring contest with the worm the Sasori was looking at. Zetsu was on the lookout. When Deidara finished, he went back to sleep. Sleep…….

Itachi and Sasori came back at two. Itachi went to _rest his eyes. _Sasori went to the servants' headquarters. Then he started annoying everyone there.

"Stop talking! I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Is than an order?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………………………………………noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo………………………………………"

"Wrong answer"

**Bed Time**

Screams were heard. "Omg! What did you do Kisame?"

"What? Nothing!"

"Oh, I did it!"

They started glaring at him. "What? She abused me and it was the worst time of my life." Fake tears came out of his eyes. "That's so obvious! You're a puppet! You don't feel a thing!"

"So?"

"Who'd you kill? It had better not be our cook. I'll be starving and I don't feel like stealing and hunting. It's bad for my…(flips hair) image." Then Itachi pulled out a mirror and started admiring himself.

"Who…did…you…kill?" Zetsu wanted his blankie to chew on now.

"Relax! It's no one important!"

"Who?!"

"…"

"IT IS SOMEONE IMPORTANT"

"It's Sakura."

A whole crowd of sighs was heard.

"Actually, I lied. It's Hinata."

Evil eyes turned on him.

"I lied again. It's Ino."

"Thank you Jasshin!"

"I'm too old for this!"

"I love goldfish!"

"I'm so beautiful!"

"Give me! Give me! Give me! It's mine!"

"No! It's my blankie!"

"I'm hungry!"

"Did anyone listen to me? What's your reaction to me killing Ino?! Tell me!"

By that time, the rest of the Akatsuki went to their bedrooms to sleep. Sasori was all alone in the Conference Room. Sakura came in to clean it. There was paper everywhere. Mostly because Sasori was throwing paper planes at her.

"I'm trying to clean!"

"Too bad! Anyways, I'm tired. This place better be cleaned when I wake up. I want this place to be extra clean."

"This place hasn't been cleaned for years. Why now?"

"Because I feel like it."

**Lclsurfer: Math program just started. And I only slept for 6 hours. I still need to sleep for one hour and fifteen minutes. Ah! Program starts too early! Yet again, this story will have it's touch of randomness. If not yet, soon it will! O.O I want to sleep now.**


	2. Being Scared is for Toys

**Toy 2**

**Being Scared is for Toys**

"Got damn it! Why did Sasori make me clean the whole place up?!" She had finished at 3 a.m. and had woken up an hour later

"Shut up!" Tenten woke up with a grumpy attitude. "Who cares? You should have gotten used to their criticism! You and Ino were born here for crying out loud! Hinata was caught at age five. I was used as a hostage but nobody came for me. Your parents were already here!"

"Ok! Ok! Didn't have to get all touchy on the subject!"

"Sorry, I'm just bit scared to find Ino dead. Stabbed to the heart, laying there lifeless, nobody there to find her but me, blood still pouring and..and...and"

"I was little shaken up too, but get used to it. At least one person every year dies. You were only here last year. Get used to it. Just make sure to not tick them off. Haku died the month before you came. We older servants never show the newcomers the burial site, but maybe you might want to see it. There should already be a freshly dug hole with Ino in it. We still need to make the engravings and bury it. Just leave Neji to do that in the morning. Right now, I want to sleep!"

"But I want…"

"Be quiet! I'm trying to sleep!" Hinata woke up. She needed to wake up at six in the morning.

Tenten and Sakura immediately went to sleep. Then a minute later, Tenten woke up to protest but two pairs of eyes were glaring at her, so she went back to sleep.

**Two hours later**

"Kiba…Kiba! KIBA!!!!!!!!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HINATA, YOU SCARED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sorry, but I need you to buy some groceries for me!"

"What do you need this time?"

"Um, a lot. You should bring Rock Lee with you. And a few more trips."

"That much?"

"Yep! Five baskets of bread, ten bananas, five quarts of ice cream, eleven boxes of Cheerios and thirteen boxes of Lucky Charms. I suspect Deidara is going to sneak some food into his stomach. Uh, twenty pounds of beef along with ten pounds of chicken, don't forget the thirty pounds of fish. Let's go in variety this time. Ten peaches with some pineapples, oh, I'll need some mangos! Some broccoli and bok choy would be fine. A can of spinach would be fine. Two pounds of cheese and three quarts of milk please. And the usual amount of chocolate would be fine. I also need ten bottles of the most expensive wine they have. I almost forgot the rice! Well, five would be splendid! Try to haggle the price of water. We need a hundred gallons this time." Kiba gaped at her.

"Why so much? That's it! I'm changing it back to every day instead weekly!"

"To tell the truth, I was planning on having three better meals today because of Ino, but if you don't want to……."

"Ok!" When somebody died, Hinata would make the most delicious meals the day after. The food would look like the person though. And the dessert would still have Naruto's face on it. Kiba had been here for five years and of course he would enjoy it.

**Two hours later**

Sasori was the first one to the table. "I want my delicious meals now!"

"Coming! I just need to make the finishing to the main dish." A second later, Hinata came into the dining room with lacey bread twisted into a question mark. The dot resembled Ino's face with pineapples as hair and raisins for eyes. The other part were all the Akatsuki members and all there faces. She then gave him a glass of milk. And a plate with chocolate on it with Ino's name decorated.

Sasori smacked his lips. Then he pouted, "I wanted licorice!" Hinata grabbed a few and put it on the table. Deidara came next with a drooling look. "Food! Yeah" He was about to dive when Sasori said, "Hi! Remember out bet?"

"NO! I should be eating yummy food from Hinny! Wah!" Then he ran off crying that he wanted food. Itachi and Kisame came in together. Hinata gave Itachi him a silver plate. The center had nothing but the rim had many varieties of fruit and vegetables. She gave him two glasses of water. Kisame was given something different. His was full of raw meat. He was also given a glass of milk and same chocolate plate with Ino's name on it.

Kakuzu came next. He didn't want anything. He just muttered something about eating money and was getting too old. Zetsu came in holding a half torn blanket with Tobi tagging along with the other part of the blanket. Zetsu had been crying like a baby on and off all night. Zetsu was just given candy. Tobi just ate two fish pancakes and a glass of water. Tobi always ate what Deidara ate the day before. Except he ate much smaller.

Hidan was just given two glasses. One was the finest wine and other was a rich man's blood.

Sakura woke up at nine. "Gah! Do I really have to clean all this?"

"Naruto got used to it! And I miss him so much! Why did you and Naruto switch? Why now?" Then Hinata started mourning about him.

**Three o' clock…Time to Nap!**

Sakura finally finished. It didn't help when they had lunch. At least Hinata's cooked breakfast and lunch helped cheered things up. She decided to take a walk outside. At the front of the cave was a massive forest. The cave was very deep inside. At the back was a beautiful garden that servants played and took care of when bored. Servants were forbidden to go into the forest but allowed into the garden. They couldn't escape if they wanted to. There was a barrier jutsu that Zetsu made.

She smelled the fresh air. Most of the Akatsuki were there. "Ow!"

"Oh! Can you give me that? Zetsu, Tobi, and I are playing ball."

"Here" She looked on. Itachi and Kisame were together, laying in the grass. Hidan and Kakuzu weren't there. They were on a mission and wouldn't be back for a few days. Deidara was sitting beside a tree. She decided to go that direction. "Hi Deidara! Anything?"

"Food! Yeah. Hungry! Yeah. Food! Yeah"

Sakura slowly walked away. Another ball hit her head. "Hey!"

"I thought you were Deidara trying to smuggle food with him. Ball?"

Sakura's face turned red with anger. "Stop throwing balls at me! You're going to give me amnesia."

Sasori's face brightened up. "That's a great idea. Thanks!" Then he threw at her head again. It was so fast that she wasn't able to dodge it. Sakura was fuming, but she knew better then to mess with a Akatsuki member. She stormed away.

Tenten came up to her. "Graveyard?"

"Fine. Neji would've been done anyways." She sighed.

They reached the burial site. "She should be here." Sakura started walking through all of them and reached the left side at the end of the fifth row. Tenten hesitated, then walked on.

There was a rock with engravings on it. It said:

Yamanaka Ino

Caretaker of Garden and Bathroom Cleaner

Age 12

Ordered an Akatsuki member

Tenten started crying. Sakura got up and walked to the fourth row. She walked to the tenth and eleventh stone. She stared at them with sadness. Tenten wondered why so she stood up wobbling to where Sakura was. She read the stones:

Haruno Hermione

Caretaker of Garden and Assistant Cook

Age 23

Birth of a Child

The other one read:

Haruno Ron

Food Supplier

Age 25

Birth of a Child

"Your parents?"

"Yep. Let's go!"

Sakura started walking fast. Tenten had to run to keep up. She still didn't know the way back. One bad thing was they had to pass the Akatsuki's bedrooms. Most of the time, you were dead if you're alone there. Sasori just so happened to be there.

"Hi. You want watermelon? You just missed dinner. We had dinner earlier tonight." Sakura gasped. She looked at the clock. It was already six. Sakura glared at him and ran to the kitchen. Tenten couldn't keep up. _Ah! No dinner? Tenten knows the rest of the way. To dinner and a lot of cleaning. _

She gasped at the dining room. It was even worse then before. "Food?" She was acting like Deidara, asking desperately for dinner. "Sorry, everyone ate the whole thing. I never saw this happen before. There's none leftover at all."

Sakura dropped her head and started sweeping the floor.

**Lclsurfer: Suicide! Suicide! He committed suicide! Why?! That's not fair! Wah! That's not fair at all. I hate Masashi Kishimoto for doing this! Wah! **


	3. Switching Jobs is for Toys

**Toy 3**

**Switching Jobs is for Toys**

"I'm hungry!" Sakura was rubbing her stomach.

Tenten's stomach started growling. "Me too"

Hinata started snoring. She was full. Sakura laid down on her bed. _Sasori must've known we'd go to the burial site and told Hinata to cook earlier_. _We usually eat at 7:30. If the Akatsuki were going on a late mission, they would demand to eat at 5. However, Hidan and Kakuzu eat in the village nearby instead. So, who's going? _She smiled at that thought. _I wonder which one will leave? _Then she drifted to sleep with her stomach still empty.

"Wake up!" Tobi started shaking Sakura roughly. "Ah! Don't scare me Tobi! Omg! What do you want at five a.m.?"

"Tobi wants a glass of water. Also, Tobi wants you to play with him." Sakura groaned. One of the many things Akatsuki did, they had to pick to play around with servants. "What do you want to play?"

"Can you watch Barney with Tobi?" Sakura slapped her head. Two hours of Barney reruns would totally ruin her day already. Yet she still had to do it. The bad things of being a servant, she sighed.

"Yay! Tobi loves this song! Tobi want it on Tobi's ipod!" Then he started singing the song, "I love you. You love me…."

In her mind, she was also singing. It was another version of the song. "I hate you. You hate me. Let's get together and kill Barney….."

"Cherry! Uhhhh…..Strawberry! Can you help put it on Tobi's ipod?"

"Just so you know, it's Sakura. And fine, I'll do it for you. But can you ask someone else next time? Please?"

"Ok! Tobi just wanted to watch it with Peach."

"Sakura"

"Tobi means Sakura"

"Thank you!" When Sakura turned around to go to the dining room, she saw Sasori looking wide-eyed. Then he ran away screaming, "MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"…"

"That never happened right?"

"Right" When Sakura reached the dining room, she found already a mess and there was Hinata standing next to Sasori who was sitting at the table. Hinata was trying to comfort Sasori. "Aw…don't cry Sasori. Now explain again why you were crying."

Then Sasori instantly stopped and said in a normal tone, "Sakura was watching Barney and wanted to put that song into my ipod." Hinata tried to suppress a giggle but couldn't. Sakura got the sweeper and completely ignored them.

"Barney?" Hinata couldn't keep a straight face at the thought. Then Sasori calmly walked away like nothing happened. She happened to see Shikamaru on the way so she grabbed him and whispered, "I'll do your job for the day if you want to my job."

He blinked. "…ok…"

"Yes!" Shikamaru was lazy so he was just given a job for predicting the weather and he became the new caretaker of the garden. Since he already predicted, all she had to do was take care of the garden. He usually started at 10 but she wanted an early start so she went at 9.

Sakura ran to the garden so she could take of it faster and get the rest of the day off. She slammed open the door. The wind was blowing and the birds were still twittering. She didn't want to disturb this so she walked quietly. Sakura decided to walk to the far end of the garden, enjoying the beautiful garden. Flowers of every kind, even the rarest kind were there. Every flower fit to its climate. She walked to where the trees were. There she saw an Akatsuki cloak so that meant someone in the group was there. Probably sleeping because he was lying, his back to her so she couldn't see who it was. She walked closer, being silent as ever. When she was right next to the tree, Sakura found something very disturbing.

She freaked out and ran away screaming. Sakura was immediately stopped by the Samehada, which was thrown right in front of her. _I'm going to die! Omg! I'm too young! Kill someone one year older than me. _

Itachi and Kisame walked up to her. "Face us." Itachi was talking rather stiffly when he usually talked eve so kindly. Sakura slowly turned around. Kisame was purple in the face and Itachi was pink.

Kisame growled, "I know we could kill you, but Sasori likes annoying you the most ever since Ino died. Sasori would go bawling for days which we don't want. Therefore, we'll just go by strikes. How many?"

"One" Sakura squeaked.

"That makes two. One more and you're dead. Now, you are not to tell anyone about this, if you do, you will be punished with a very slow death. One with torture and agony for a whole month. No one to hear you scream and cry for help. No one to help you as you weep there starving as Deidara is doing right now. One punishment from each of us. Remember Shino? Remember that he suddenly disappeared? Then to find him laying there on his bed, permanent brain damage, skin peeled off so you can the muscles and organs, one arm completely torn off, poison already spread everywhere, a leg chewed of, head chopped off, his heart missing…"

"Please stop!" Sakura collapsed lying n the ground, hugging herself. Shino died three years ago. Kiba found him. She took deep breaths.

"Akatsuki loves torturing in that room. It's really quite fun." Itachi finished. Then they left her and went to the cave. Zetsu appeared before her. He stood there with a hungry look in his eye. "Just kill me right now to end my suffering!" She didn't have to look to know who it was. It was already obvious by the shadow.

"Someone died two days ago. We shouldn't get too greedy in killing our own servants."

"Yes, we shouldn't."

"Anyways she doesn't look tasty even if her parents were so yummy."

Sakura came back for dinner. After eating, she went straight to bed.

_Sakura's dream:_

_She was in a barren place. Endless land stretched an endless desert with nothing in sight. There was one thing, a luscious tree with Akatsuki member sitting there. Her feet started walking on its own. At least, that's what she thought. When she went closer, she gasped in horror. It was just like last time. Itachi and Kisame found her staring and the next thing you know, she found herself in the dungeons. All the Akatsuki members she knew all her life were there, smiling in glee. _

"_I'll start first" Sasori walked up. They stared at each other for a while. Then he started grabbing something in his pocket. _

"_I thought you didn't want me killed." Sakura was about to cry. _

"_I didn't. I just wanted a reason for you to die this way." Then he smiled really big and was going to stab her with a knife._

Sakura woke up. She was sweating. The next thing happened really fast. "Ah! What the-? Why are you here Deidara?"

He had puppy eyes on. "Do you have food?"

"…no"

Deidara sighed and walked to he boys' side. Then she heard someone yelp in surprise.

**The Next Morning**

Sakura woke up later. At around 11, she walked around aimlessly. Soon she found herself in the storage room and there was Sasuke. He was the Akatsuki nurse, not doctor.

"Hey Chicken head!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Fine, I won't tell you about your brother and what happened yesterday!"

Sasuke looked interested. "What happened with my brother?"

"I switched jobs with Shikamaru for the day and so I took a walk in the garden. Then I saw something that turned into the worst moment of my life!"

"What?" Sasuke was really getting interested.

"I saw…I saw….I…" Sakura looked terrified at the thought.

"What? What did you see?"

"I-i-i-i s-saw y-y-your b-b-b-b-b-b-bro-t-t-t-ther-r…" A horrified look was on her face.

"What? What?"

"Kissing Kisame! It looked they were enjoying it! Omg! I knew they were very close, but that close?!" Then Sakura started making gagging noises. Sasuke looked wide-eyed.

"Don't tell anybody!"

"That info just freaked me out"

"Sickening isn't it?"

"Yep!"

"SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE DID YOU PUT MY BLANKIE????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A BOOBOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke sighed. "Please don't tell me that Zetsu and Tobi started fighting again!" Then he ran off to his office. Distant crying was heard from Tobi as Sasuke put a bandage on him.

"Time to clean. _Again!"_

**Lclsurfer: Omg! Yesterday was awesome. A fire burned three-five buildings! There was rubble everywhere! Woah! This summer is total bad luck here. First, a car crash right next to my street. Some weeks later, some buildings burned to the ground. Awesome! The firefighters also needed help from Monterey Park also. And the seventh book is coming out! Yes! I'm watching the fifth movie on the same day I get the book which is this Saturday! Yay! (Starts crying) Deidara! Why?! Why?! Why?! Committed suicide of all things to die! You choose suicide?! That's not fair!**


	4. Begging is for Toys

**Toy 4**

**Begging is for Toys**

Hidan came up to her and said, "Since you're the first person I see today, tell everyone that Kakuzu and me are going to go away for a long time because we're trying to find……something." Then he walked away, carrying a suitcase. It was bloody on the rims and he was kind of wobbling on one side, like his leg was limp.

Sakura went into the kitchen and yelled. "ZOMBIES ARE GONE!!!!! LONG TIME!!!!!!" There was a lot of awwws. A few cheered. Hidan and Kakuzu didn't eat much and barely bothered the servants. A few cheered because they were disgusted by them and sometimes they picked on them like all Akatsuki members do when they're bored.

The rest of the Akatsuki were already there. All of them didn't take notice except for one. That was Itachi. At first, he was teary eyed and then he started crying really hard.

All the servants looked because they never saw anything like that. Then Itachi wiped his eyes with his sleeves and ran away. Sasori explained, "He's in love with Hidan."

Five minutes later, there was crying again. Hidan and Kakuzu walked past the living room with Itachi clinging on Hidan's other leg that wasn't limping. That made it hard for Hidan to walk though. Hidan then begged to Kakuzu. "Please help me. Remember, I'm needy! When my head was chopped off, you had to sew it back on for me. Please help me this one!"

Kakuzu sighed and searched in his pockets. Five seconds later, a shampoo bottle was in his hand. He poured it onto Itachi's hair. It looked like mud and smelled like skunk. Then Kakuzu walked away and dropped the bottle. The bottle was labeled Itachi Repellent. It took a while for Itachi to notice.

"YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M FREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" When he did, he cried even harder and ran off to the bathroom.

Sakura was confused. She just saw Itachi kissing Kisame yesterday. Now he's clinging on to Hidan. "Yes, yes! You must me confused. Well, Itachi is like a fan girl. He's in love Kisame, Hidan, and Deidara. Kisame treats him with respect. That's why. Well, you haven't seen Itachi during the meetings. He keeps fretting over Deidara because he hasn't been eating. Haha! Betting is awesome! Hidan always stays in his room and wears a skunk perfume. But, I don't think you will understand what love is for the Akatsuki." Then Sasori patted her back and shook his head.

"Of course I don't understand! Why would I?"

Sasori put on a surprised look. "You're admitting you're dumb?! Omg! That's wonderful! See, I told you that you have to admit your weak points to feel better." Sasori started patting her head now.

**Bed Time**

Sakura had walked all day with Sasori patting her head. Itachi was still in the bathroom. Even a hundred meters away, servants could still smell it. Sakura didn't like it. The bathroom he was using was the one that was right next to the kitchen. That meant when she cleaned, she could get a good whiff of skunk.

Since it was late, she started to head towards the servants' headquarters. Sasori already walked away because he started getting bored. When she passed the living room, she overheard a conversation. "But I need your Itachi Repellent. Yeah. I ran out a long time ago! Yeah" Sakura suddenly remembered that when she was seven years old, Deidara smelled so bad. Three years later, the scent wore off. And he started smelling like food.

"Why didn't you get more from Kakuzu?"

"Because I could always distract him with Hidan and Kisame! Yeah"

"Why can't you do that now?"

"You know why! Yeah. Hidan's away and Kisame broke up with Itachi because he got SO fed up with him obsessed with all three of us at once. Now Kisame's making an ocean and regretting what he did. Yeah"

"Why can't you buy more?"

"Stop asking stupid questions! Yeah. You bought every repellent! Yeah. I remember! You just bought a new stock of every kind! You even buy the Sasori Repellent! Yeah. Give me Itachi Repellent!"

"But you love yourself! You're just like Itachi! Being self-centered about your looks and everything about yourself is what you mostly care about. You should keep up that habit! Anyways, you were so mean for those three years. You hurt my feelings! You should stop begging! Just so you know, my art's better! Eternal beauty!"

"Art is a bang!"

"Eternal beauty! Hm, let's change the bet! Stick with Itachi for two weeks and I'll give you what you want."

"Fine! Food! Come back to me!" Deidara slammed open the door and ran to the kitchen. He didn't notice that Sakura was eavesdropping. Sakura now had a big bump on her head. Sasori walked past. "Omg! Sakura was listening! You're bad!"

"Grr…Can...I...Sasori Repellent?"

"Never!"

"Just a thought, is there a Kakuzu Repellent?"

"…no…I make my own Kakuzu Repellent." Sasori had a proud look on his face. "You better start cleaning again. "If you've seen the mess these days, you should see the mess with Deidara in it. One servant even fainted at the sight."

When she reached the kitchen, Sakura almost did faint at the sight. She started cleaning immediately. While she was cleaning, she heard voices. _Eavesdropping is awesome!_

"But I want pancakes!" It was the voice of a little boy. She knew who it was. He barely came out of his room because he usually wanted to play video games. He wasn't actually a little kid though. He was actually around the same age as Itachi.

"I'm sorry but I've ran out! I'd have to ask Kiba to buy more. You can eat them during breakfast time."

"Pancakes!"

"But-"

"PANCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(Sighs) "Kiba! Can you buy some pancakes now?" Hinata started to head towards the servants' headquarters. He was still there pouting. It was Pein. He was _supposedly _the leader of the Akatsuki, but everyone thinks that it's Zetsu or Kisame because they're _old._ When Pein revealed himself, the servants were all surprised and didn't believe it at first. But when they saw him ordering them around, they gave him so much respect that they bowed their heads so low that their heads touched the floor. They did everything for him and when any of the Akatsuki members asked first for something, Pein gets it.

When she finished, Hinata still didn't come with pancakes. And it was hours later. _Wow. Pein has so much pa__tience it scares me. Time to sleep!_

Pein was sitting on the table like a statue. He didn't even blink his eyes. He just had the same expression on his face. Sakura tried to get him back to normal a few times but it didn't work. So now she's going to bed because it's already past midnight. Past midnight!

When Sakura was about to head out the door, Hinata ran in and made her fall. The pancakes were already cooked so that meant they just got from a cheap restaurant. She started panting. "Pancakes for the master."

Pein suddenly went back to his normal state. "Yay! Pancakes! I love pancakes! I love pancakes! I love pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Hinny! Hinny! I want milk too!"

"Now that…I have."

And that's how Pein got pancakes and milk.

The End

Just so you know it's not the end of the story yet. It's only been four chapters. If anyone falls for that, I'm going to go all like (gasps) how did anyone fall for that?! Just like people fell for Omnistrife's joke of being dead. Well, I already told you so whatever.

**Lclsurfer: Omg! I love xxxholic and Hellsing. They're both like the horror type of anime, but xxxholic is funnier than Hellsing. Hellsing is all about vampires and killing ****Hellsing looks cool! Alucard, Dracula, Alucard, Dracula! I just started ****today.**** Heard ****its**** only thirteen episodes. ****x****xxholic is funny because he goes all crazy. ****Omg! I love the theme song! ****Yamato ****Nadeshiko ****Shichi**** H****enge was funnier****. I finished that a week ago. I think. That's right! I'm advertising anime that I'm currently watching. Also advertising: New story coming up! Girls' Fight! Coming next month! Obviously, I'm going to put Akatsuki there like always! (pets a stuffed animal and starts crying) Deidara! Kakuzu! Hidan! Sasori! DEIDARA!!!!!!!!**


	5. Torture is for Toys

**Toy 5**

**Torture is for Toys**

Deidara put on a fake smile. He cautiously went into Itachi's room. He didn't like this one bit. But he really wanted those items that Sasori promised. Anyways two weeks wasn't that bad. It could've been way more worse then just that. Deidara took a deep breath and went inside.

"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah. I'm here to give you a present! Yeah"

Itachi screamed very girly like. It hurt Deidara's ears. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Shut up! Yeah. I'm trying to be nice to you!"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"...You're lying!" Itachi pouted and pointed a finger at him.

Deidara sighed. "Here" He searched his pockets and took out a neatly wrapped present. It was black and a red ribbon was wrapped around it.

Itachi gasped in surprise. He almost fainted. When he opened it, he was so happy. It was a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Haha! Itachi was so happy just because Deidara wrote on it.

"Now that I gave you that, I want you to stay away from me for two weeks! Yeah"

"Ok! Kisame!" Itachi ran out of the room.

"Hehes! Sasori never said anything about making a deal with him. Yeah"

**Breakfast**

"Achoo! Sakura! I need a tissue!"

"It's right next to you!"

"But I don't feel like reaching that far!"

"Fine" Sakura went to the table and pulled a tissue and gave it to him. "I thought puppets don't catch colds"

"They don't! I just felt like sneezing." Sakura glared at him. "Hey! At least it gives you servants something to do. Anyways, have you seen Deidara?"

Sakura replied happily. "Nope! Not at all!"

"Really?"

**One minute later...**

"FOOD!!!!!!!!!!! I missed you so much!" Deidara came running in with a starved look on his face. Hinata already had a plate for him. He sat on the table and drooled. Then he started eating. "Mmmm! Delicious!"

**Another minute later...**

"Woah...Deidara eats fast."

"And already a mess is made. Get to work Sakura!"

"I know! I know!" Sakura wanted to finish this fast. Sasori stayed there to gloat at her. Sakura just stayed quiet the whole time. She turned off her mind and thought of ways to kill Sasori. She didn't care if Sasori could read her mind. Right now was Sakura's happy time.

When she was done, Sasori was still there. Sakura looked at him and frowned. She came back from her thoughts.

"Hi. Did you come back? I was about to kill you because I was thinking you became a zombie and of course I would obviously have to kill zombies." Sasori slumped on his chair. He was obviously bored.

"Why are you still here?"

"Never mind that. I want to know your reaction if I made you my _personal_ servant." Sasori leaned more back and smirked. Sakura turned blank for a while. Then she came back and just reacted on her own without thinking. This was her reaction:

She screamed.

The thought of Sasori being the only one to control her was pure torture. Sasori smiled and laughed evilly. "That's your reaction? Then starting right now, you are dismissed of all chores and duties. Right now, you have the free will to disobey any other Akatsuki members. Starting now, you are to listen to every word I say and follow me everywhere."

"The following part was just added by you. I know how the personal servant saying goes."

"I know. I just felt like adding that."

"So do I have to follow you?"

"No"

"Yay!"

"Now I feel like making a puppet. _Human_ puppet. And you have to help me!" Sakura almost threw up. A few servants was told to follow Sasori into his work room. When they came back, they told stories of what they called _human_ puppets. They committed suicide a day after they went inside Sasori's work room.

Sasori looked at her. "So you've heard the stories, didn't you? Human puppets, suicide. Don't worry. I'm sure that you won't commit suicide. If you do, I'll kill every servant and every one of those foolish towns people.

"Oh sure, I've heard you say that line to everyone that goes inside your work room." Sasori shrugged. "Whatever. Let's go!"

The work room was a hundred times worse then she thought. "I didn't start on it yet. Ok, I just got it yesterday so let's start. Sakura, peel off the skin."

"You're kidding me. The guy is still breathing. Don't you usually...kill...them...?"

"Of course not! I still need the chakra."

"Chakra? What's that?" Sasori looked at her and then remembered something. "I forgot that you servants were stupid. Oh well, just go ask Tenten. You should already know that she became the oldest one to become one of you. Obviously, she went to the Academy. She didn't finish, but she would still know"

"Chakra. Right! I'm going to ask Tenten! Hey! Why don't you tell me?!"

"Because I don't feel like it" Sakura sat down to think about all the things she didn't know about. The moment she touched the seat, Sasori snapped at her. "Get to work!"

"Oh! Yes sir!" Sakura didn't actually do that stuff, but she had to watch. That was still sickening. Especially since Sasori kept on telling her how to make a human puppet. That was the worst time of her life next to one of her best friends dying in front of her eyes...that was really sad.

**The Next Morning**

"I'm dead"

(Pokes) "It seems like it too...Time to make you a puppet! Yay! But you would be useless...how about some training?"

"Ah! I can't believe he took all night long and he still isn't finished! I need a lot of sleep. I'm going to have nightmares because of Sasori now."

(Stares) "Are you listening to me?"

"I want to sleep so badly. Um...maybe I should get something to eat first. Food! Oh no! I'm acting like Deidara now. But I _am _hungry, let's see...some pie would be great..." (Drools)

(Stares more)

"Pie"

(Grabs Sakura) "Huh? She turned into a zombie again? I feel like killing you right now because you just ignored me."

Sakura turned her head and gulped. She was going to get killed. She had prayed every night that she would grow old here and die as a retired servant or as least be free from this place. But that night she wasn't able to because Sasori kept her up.

"Now I don't feel like training you, let's just take a walk." Sasori smiled.

"Where?" Sakura said that slowly.

"To where all the food suppliers go, to town!"

Sakura never went there before. She heard it from other people though. Only food suplliers were allowed outside the boundaries of Akatsuki. A few years back, a food supplier tried escaping and hid inside one of the villager's houses. He was easily killed the next day. That was what the next food supplier said. Even though that job gives you an advantage to escape, no one beats the Akatsuki. Which is pretty sad because the only life Sakura knows is being a servant to the Akatsuki _forever._

"Are we really?"

"Yep. But we're going to have to change first."

**A few minutes later...**

Sasori dressed into one of those old time newspaper boys. He even had the little cap to go with it. Sakura was still wearing the servants' clothing.

"You said we were going to change. I wanted to wear something otther than this."

"Aw...of course you should know that we in AKatsuki language is me!" Sakura stuck her tongue at him. "I'm ignoring that"

**Village**

Sakura gasped. She never saw anything like this. People were smiling and stuff like that. You should know how it would look like. -.-

"Nothing like home eh?"

"..."

"Ok let's go!"

As they walked past, the other people were scared and let them go. They kept the road free for them. It was completely silent when they passed. Fathers locked the doors and windows. Mothers closed the eyes of their children. Everywhere were scared looks.

_Wow...even here they're feared. Proves how famous they are. Not that I'm surprised, but I wonder just how famous they are. In the hideout, they were like normal people. Sasori isn't even talking right now. And he's supposed to be the talkative one. _

Sasori wasn't smiling at all. But Sakura didn't care because she got to come here!

"Hey! You! Your damn group's been scaring the children. I won't stand for you anymore in my village!" It was an old man with white hair and he seemed drunk. "The name is Jiraiya and I'm going to defeat you and take that beautiful girl off your hands!"

_Dumb pervert. _That was the first thing Sakura thought of. Sasori sighed. "It's so sad that you're drunk." Someone else came. A woman that looked like she was in her twenties, she dragged him out. First she said, "Sorry for causing you trouble." Then she went.

Sasori turned to face Sakura. "Now didn't I say that I was going to kill you before I said we were going to take a walk?" He was smiling.

**Lclsurfer: Omg! I was about to send this document when I didn't even do me little commentary right here. Aw! That was freaking close! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! School is almost here in less then two weeks! That is just plain sad! Yay! Her cousins are coming and then I get to annoy them. Um, I have a question. Am I talkative? Because someone said so...oh well! Deidara! (Cries about school and Deidara)**


	6. Crying is for Toys

**Toy 6**

**Crying is for Toys**

Sakura gulped. "Maybe"

Sasori frowned and put on a thinking on a face. "I'm sure I did say that. Oh well, I don't like to be kept waiting!" He pushed her playfully that she fell on the floor. She bruised her knees. She was used to it. Then Sasori threw coins at her. "Now buy me some ramen! I'm hungry!"

"Ow! Don't throw so hard!"

"Is that an order?"

"No...it's just advice. Nobody will like you if you keep throwing stuff at them." Sasori wasn't convinced. He pointed at himself and said, "I happen to get a whole room's full of chocolate. Why do think there's a room called the chocolate? Have you ever gone inside? Because one year, half of the chocolate was gone and you should know how big it is."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...I haven't seen the chocolate room..." Sasori stared at her. "Ok, I just stole one box. I shared it the other servants."

"Now le-oof!" Sasori tripped. Some guy tripped him and ran. He was around thirty. Sasori glared at him and then laughed. "Now I have a reason to kill people here. He did that on purpose _so_ I get to kill you!" Sasori started chasing him, but Sakura knew Sasori was just playing with him and then kill him with poison.

Sasori passed Sakura. "Hurry up and buy ramen woman!" She got annoyed, but she reluctantly went to a shop.

**Ramen Shop**

This was pretty close. It was the best view on what's happening with Sasori and that guy. Sakura ordered a bowl and waited. Sasori was still laughing, but this time was more evil. She knew he was about to die soon.

Sakura gasped. A scream was just heard. She heard what Sasori said. "I'll leave you for now. It will leave you all numb and frozen. If left alone for three days, you die. Which I plan on doing. Bleh! Let's see if your damn medical ninja is up to this challenge! Well, actually I heard about Tsunade...time to kill you!"

Sasori skipped to the ramen shop Sakura was in. "Yay! Ramen! It's been a long time since I've eaten this since Hinata doesn't know much about outside food." He drooled and started eating.

Sakura looked at Sasori. "What?"

"Huh! That was fast!"

"Yep! I miss you ramen! Now tell me why you're looking at me like that."

"It's nothing. It's just that...you changed when you went into town. But then...you went back to normal when you were chasing him."

Sasori looked horrified. "Are you starting to like me?" Sasori gagged. He started choking. "Omg! I'm dying for knowing that Sakura likes me! Ah! Help me!"

Sakura sighed. "Why would I like you? Servants notice things when you're _trapped for life!_"

Sasori smirked. "Not sorry."

"Grr"

Sasori tried to hide his laugh. "Aw...is the wittle baby crying now?"

She was crying but she didn't know why. The tears just kept on coming. Tears dropped down her face as she cried. Sasori stopped laughing. He got up and pulled down his cap. Then he started walking away slowly. When he reached the door, he turned his head a little. "Don't consider yourself free from Akatsuki. We'll come back for you and when we do...you better put up a good fight." Then he walked out.

The cook looked at the door. And then he rushed to her side. "Hey, are you ok? I thought you were a goner. Guess you're still alive...come on! Looks like you're just twelve...where are your parents?"

Sakura wiped the tears off her face with a tissue. "I have no parents. They were killed by Akatsuki."

"Eh! I'm sorry. But what were you doing with that Akatsuki member?"

"I'm a servant. Hey...how long do you think I have?"

The cook sighed sadly. "Probably until tonight or tomorrow."

"I should leave." Sakura got up and went. She took a walk. The townspeople were already back to normal . Except that there was a dead person in the middle of the town. Family members and friends cried. There was a statue with a knight on a horse. The knight had his sword pointing sharply at the sky. He was there. The sword had stabbed him right through the chest. His eyes were still open and full of fear.

Sakura looked on the place she used to live. For some reason, she started walking up the path that lead to the Akatsuki hideout.

**Akatsuki Hideout**

"Um, I know it's around here. Damn! I should've asked Kiba how to get back in." She paced there for what seemed like hours.

**A few days later...**

"What are doing here? It's dangerous!"

Sakura woke up. It was that same woman that carried that drunk guy away. "Who are you?"

"The name's Tsunade! And my hobby is gambling and drinking! And you shouldn't be here! Let's get back to town."

Sakura was practically dragged down the hill and back to town. She had been waiting for Kiba or any Akatsuki member to come, but no one did. It was really frustrating. For some reason, she missed the Akatsuki, living with the Akatsuki, serving the Akatsuki...wow. Sakura has problems.

Again, she was asked the same questions. "Right then! You're going to live with me!"

"What?"

"I'm going to train you to be my apprentice!"

"WHAT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Do you know what chakra is?"

"No" Tsunade stared at her. "This should be a lot of work. But you should have a lot of information on Akatsuki so I'm going to keep you. Listen up! I'm going to train you until you die!"

Sakura gulped.

**Three years later...**

"Ha! Look at that! I broke a ton of metal. Yeah!"

"Dumbass!" Tsunade smacked her head with a fan. Then she started fanning herself.

"Ow! What now?"

Tsunade cleared her throat. "There's still a lot more things you need to learn." Sakura groaned. "It's already midnight. I want to go to sleep."

When Sakura went to bed, she tried to recollect her memories of Akatsuki. As each day passed, she was forgetting everyone's face and voice. Everyone but Sasori's, his was still the clearest and sharpest out of all the rest of them.

Sakura sighed and fell asleep. _I can't stop thinking of him._

**Akatsuki Hideout**

Pein walked outside. "Hehe! It's time to take over the world."

"Really? But I want to have more time relaxing. I mean, Kisame just killed Kiba today. So...I'm kind of hoping I could spend the whole day tomorrow eating her food."

"Kakuzu! Hidan!"

"Fine!" Hidan pouted. Kakuzu stayed quiet the whole time.

"Hey! Where's the other Akatsuki members? How come there's only two of them?"

"Sleeping, eating, I don't care what they're doing!"

Pein sighed. "Who cares about them? I'll make sure they get punishment! Ok, Hidan and Kakuzu! You get to stay home! While the others have to go away and do some lame missions. Ninja style!" Pein started acting like this martial arts guy on tv.

Hidan stared. "Let's just walk away slowly." Kakuzu was already gone. Hidan ran away.

**Tobi's Room**

He was playing with his toys.

**Itachi's Room**

Itachi was sleeping on the bed while Kisame was on the floor.

**Sasori's Room**

He yawned. "Deidara, shouldn't we be at the meeting with others?"

"I don't know and I don't care. It's midnight and I want to go to sleep. Yeah"

"Yeah...good night!"

"See you later. Yeah" Deidara walked away and went to his room.

_Time to sleep everyone!_

**Lclsurfer: Wah! Episode 29 just made me remember Deidara committed suicide! He's going to do the same thing later on! No! And I don't want Tobi to be Madara! I want him to be Obito! Obito is so much cuter! Actually I like Tobi better then Obito! Woot! Naruto's parents are revealed! And I don't want Pein to die so fast! After he's just been revealed a few weeks ago! Deidara! You know, I'm hoping Itachi and Sasuke will kill each other, but I know Sasuke will live. I mean, he's like the second main character in Naruto! He's not going to die that easily! Deidara! Wah! Happy birthday!**


	7. Remembering is for Toys

**Toy 7**

**Remembering is for Toys**

"I have a plan!" It was the next morning and Pein finally gathered them all after they all did some lame missions during midnight. Itachi raised his eyebrows. "And what is this plan?"

"We give away Naruto and Sasuke!"

"..." The Akatsuki were silent. Then they burst out laughing. Zetsu finally had some breath a little when he said, "We...haha...did that...hahahahaha...already!"

Tobi, who was completely immune to this, who had no idea what Pein meant, was clueless. However he knew that Pein let Naruto and Sasuke escape a week after Sasori let Sakura go.

"But you did that a long time ago"

Pein blinked twice. "I did? I did! Time to bring a spy to that village of Konoha! Konan!"

"Yes?" Papers flew everywhere out of nowhere and came together to form a woman. It was Konan. "But I have a question?"

Pein asked, " What?"

"I can't pick! This light blue blouse with a white knee high skirt or this blue short sleeve with a pink flower on it with jeans! I can't pick! Which looks better on me?"

The Akatsuki pushed Itachi, Deidara, and Sasori out from the crowd.

Itachi thought for a while. "Hmm"

Deidara was completely surprised. "What? I am not gay! Neither am I feminist! But I do say that second one looks better on you. Yeah" The Akatsuki stared. "Sure you're not a feminist, Deidara. Sure you aren't" Kakuzu said that in a sarcastic tone.

"So not true. Your fashion is totally off. It should be that first one."

"Liar! Yeah"

Pein walked in front of them and stared at Sasori. "It's up to you. This is a very important decision. It's between life and death! What is he best for her to wear?!"

Sasori said nothing for a few minutes. "It shouldn't be like that. It should be the blue blouse with the jeans."

Deidara and Itachi looked at him like he was crazy. "Oh no you didn't!" They said that in unison.

"Oh yes I did!"

Deidara collaped onto the floor. "I know he's right. I can't past that judgement! Yeah. I give up! Master! Yeah"

"Well, I'm not giving up!"

"Oh, so you want a cat fight is it? Well, bring it ON girly! I'm going to go all kung-fu fighting on you!"

"Let's go!"

Pein stepped in between them. "No, no fighting!"

Sasori smirked. "You know I'm right."

Itachi dropped down to his knees. He sighed. His hands reached the grass. "No! I'm wrong!"

Konan shrugged and went inside the hideout. Pein clapped his hands. "Ok! We're going to have war with Konoha! Zetsu scouts the ground and blah blah"

_The blah blah is so boring that we had to censor the rest of the converstion._

**Five Minutes later...**

"What do you think?" Konan posed for them.

All of them screamed except Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara. That clapped. Sasori flipped his hair. "A perfection!" Deidara and Itachi got jealous and pushed him to the mud spot where it rained yesterday. Now they were content.

Sasori laughed evilly. Itachi gasped dramactically. He forgot that he could switch puppets. There was a lifeless puppet on the mud and a another Sasori standing right in front of them. Deidara already knew about that so he wasn't surprised.

Konan pouted. "I thought this was supposed to be about me!"

Pein waved his hand. "You can go now, Konan."

Konan jumped. "Yays!"

**One Week Later...**

Pein started pacing back and forth everyday now. "What's taking her so long? I mean, does it really take that long? It only takes five minutes to walk there!"

**With Konan**

"Where's Konoha? I've been searching a whole week and I still can't find it! Wah!" She was lost. She started crying under a tree.

**At Konoha**

They tried many times to break into the hideout but it never opened for anyone...

"I hear crying"

Sakura was now teamed up with Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke completely changed and turned into some emo kid and Naruto is still...stupid. Except now, he was less responsible and liked the freedom a lot still. Naruto and Sasuke had no idea why the Akatsuki let them go. Pein just said, "Buy me some cookies at Konoha! It's just a five minute walk and you just go that way! Come back safely!"

When they went back, they couldn't find the hideout so they went back to the village and lived happily ever after. They started training and did some lame missions. It was really boring life. Sometimes, they actually missed living in fear.

Sakura still missed Sasori.

**Konan**

"I found it!It's Konoha!" She looked back. "Wow! That's really close to our hideout. It's like a five minute walk. She sighed and dropped her head. "Omg! I could've been here a week earlier."

She walked inside. "Ah!" Someone just ran straight past her. It was Naruto. He was being chased by someone familiar. Followed by Sakura was also Sasuke who seemed to be just as angry as Sakura. Also, Naruto looked so scared for his life. Konan looked at them and smiled. "Found you!" She started running toward Naruto. She was way faster then all of them and easily caught Naruto in five seconds.

"NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura stopped in her tracks. A woman was holding Naruto by the collar.

"Hi, my name...Rika! I ninja too! But I come from...Iwakagure so I want to be here! Can you give tour to here?"

**Inside Konan's Head**

This is totally not me! Why am I doing this?! Agh! I hate this! I never want to do this ever again! Ok, he said to stay here for a week...since I took a week coming here...I'll just stay here for another week. She probably doesn't even recognize me! Though, I don't think she remembers anyone but Sasori! Haha! I knew it! It was totally worth it! Sasori likes Sakura! Sakura likes Sasori. That's right! Konan spied on Sasori-danna! I should get Pein-sama here too! He should have a vacation. Wee!

**Back To Konoha**

Sakura shrugged. "Sure! But I have to see if you're a spy or not. Let me see your id"

Konan had stolen Deidara's passport and just changed a few details and changed the photo.

Sakura took a look and gave it back to her. "Ok! Tour time! Oh yeah, are you going to live here?"

Konan shook her head. "No, I only here for week"

Sakura sighed. "Oh well"

**Lclsurfer: Omg! That was so fun! I actaully wore my Akatsuki at school! Yesterday I put it in a bag and then at recess, I took it out and wore it the whole day! O.O Lots of people staring. I was Deidara! Yay! Today, I was Itachi because his hair style is easier and also because my hair is black. This time I wore it the whole day. There was also another Itachi! Yep my friend I talked about in the last chapter. In the morning, this guy that goes to my school is saying, Omg! you're going to wear that again?! And then he saw my friend and me and then he says, Wtf? Wtf? Wtf? There's two of them now! Wtf? **

**And then people in my grade started saying I shouldn't wear it anymore so I'm stopping now. It was only two days! But then Halloween's a week day though! Mwhahahaha! I love my Akatsuki cloak! (Sniffs) I'm so proud of myself. Because usually people lable me as shy.**


	8. Spying is for Toys

**Toy 8**

**Spying is for Toys**

Sakura sighed and looked at the time. It was near eleven p.m. "We can't tour at this time. Why don't we do this tomorrow? Anyways, where are you going to stay? I should you wake you up early for a fresh start. Say, 7 a.m? If you don't have a place, then you can stay at my place."

Konan shook her head. "I already place. I don't need..."

**Inside Konan's Head**

Pein-sama said to spy though...ok! Going to Sakura's place!

**Back to Reality**

"Never mind! I don't have place! Can I go yours?"

"Sure!" Sakura happily replied. She actually skipped all the way to her home. "My parents died. So I live all by myself. Naruto and Sasuke are my neighbors. I'm in the middle. This street was haunted so nobody claimed these three houses. You see, this street is very small. Only three houses. It used to be called Fear Street. Naow it's called Orphan's Lane.

**Sakura's House**

Surprisingly, it was all neat. Konan thought, 'Must have gotten that from all that cleaning for us Akatsuki' The living room was simple. It was just a coffee table with so some couches and a rug. There was also a welcome mat on the door. THe whole house was boring. The bathroom was had a bath tub with a toilet and sink. The kitchen had a fridge with cabinets and a stove and oven. A table and chairs was where they would supposedly eat. Two bedrooms. One of them was Sakura's bed. It was so plain and simple. A really white and clean room that had a white bed with a white blanket and a white pillow. There was a white drawer and a white wardrobe. It was so white. The other bedroom was different. It was completely different.

The walls were painted black. The wooden floor and a burning red. The bed was wooden. The covers of the blanket was red. The pillow was white. What surprised her the most was that a mannequin was hanging by its head on the wall. Konan gasped.

**Inside Konan's Head**

Oh great! I'm going to be sleeping with Sasori for a whole week! Wah! I want to sleep with Pein!

**Back to Dreamland**

While Konan slept, she was having some weird dreams. She was in Sakura's room. When she looked at the mirror, she screamed. In her dream, she was Sakura. She ran out the door and Sasori was right there at her door. Sasori smirked. "I missed you, but now you have to die" Chakra strings formed on his fingers. The puppet he used was Sakura herself. As he moved to attack...

**Day 1**

Sakura screamed. Konan screamed. THey were both in hysteria. "Sasori was about to kill me!" "Sasori missed me? Ew! Pein!"

Sakura ran out her door the same time Konan did. They screamed for hours. They didn't hear the doorbell ring for five minutes. "All right that's it! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!" Naruto had crashed the door and it was broken now. Sasuke was behind him in the same pajamas. I think they're something suspicious going on with the two of them...

Naruto and Sasuke went back to their houses when Sakura and Konan finally stopped screaming. Sakura breathed deeply. "Ok! Let's go to Ichiraku Ramen. It's Naruto's favorite place to eat."

When they reached Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto and Sasuke were already there eating. Sakura got confused. "Why is Sasuke here?" Naruto happily replied back, "We're on a...ow!" Sasuke had hit him on the head. Now there was a big bump on his head.

The day passed. Sakura had shown her the whole village already.

**Day 2**

Sakura sat on the floor of Konan's room. "Ok? Since you've seen the whole village, where do you want to go?" Konan shrugged. "Why don't we just stay here and talk?"

Sakura cocked her head. "Ok! Do you like pie?"

Konan sighed. "I meant talk about yourself."

Sakura dropped her head. "I don't like talking about myself since I've had a bad childhood. You see, I used to be a servant to the Akatsuki. I think I still have a crush on one of the Akatsuki members. His name is Sasori."

Konan gasped dramatically. It was sarcasm though. Sakura didn't that. "Yeh, it's true! For some reason, I only remember him and not the others. It's kind of sad because I'm not much of a help to Konoha if I don't remember the other people. Well, I would say that the villagers are more helpful even though they've only seen one or two members their whole lives."

Konan nodded her head. "I see"

So they spent the rest of the week talking about stuff like that and Konan got lots of information.

**The Last Day**

Sakura started crying. "I'm going to miss you, Konan! We had lots of fun and I hope you come back and visit me again. I am really going to miss you. Wah! Wah!"

Konan said nothing. She was just so hapy that she was able to get so much information out of Sakura. Especially since Konoha just found out their hideout and now knows how to open the door. They were planning on attacking them tomorrow. She was so close. It was because Sakura just told her today. Sakura said that they will never fear them ever again. Konan laughed at that thought. She thought Sakura would be suspicious but she fell for it so easily.

Konan walked on and on. "Omg! I had better not get lost! If I get lost for a week again...no! No! No! Think happy thoughts! I must not jinx the Akatsuki. The Akatsuki should always be almighty. Because Pein is the leader and god of them all! Pein will rule the world! And I will be his queen! Yay! Go Pein! Go...uh ohs! Gotta run! Don't get lost! Don't get lost!"

Sakura walked around the village for awhile. She was getting quite bored. The only gossip around Konoha was the same. It was that Naruto and Sasuke were secretly in love. Recently there was some new gossip that Sakura didn't care about. It was that a spy from the Akatsuki came to Konoha. She heard that on the same day that Konan came. She ignored that though. Sakura couldn't believe that Konan was from the Akatsuki. Konan didn't seem at all like an Akatsuki member or spy.

"Omg! Where am I? I'm lost!" Konan was surrounded by lots of trees and grass. She couldn't see anything but green. She dropped to the floor for what seemed to be the 100th time. "Oh noes!" An hour passed by and she was inches away from the hideout. "Where is it?" Another hour passed. "Ok? Why am I in Konoha?!" She trudged back into the forest. Two hours passed this time.

"What?" Zetsu finally woke up and started his barrier. "...Pein! Konan's walking in circles!"

Pein rushed to Zetsu's tower of power and grabbed his binoculars that are spectacular. "Gah! What's she been doing this whole time?! It's been two weeks and this is all she does?! KONAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She was still walking in circles.

Zetsu commented. "I think she's lost. I think you should go there and bring her back."

Pein growled. "I should but it's time for milk and cookies so...DEIDARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"WHAT???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah" Deidara was playing with his clay explosives with Tobi. The game was Explode Tobi with Deidara's Clay.

Pein yelled back. "I NEED YOU TO CHASE KONA AND BRING HER BACK SO I COULD YELL AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU HAVE TO PLAY PEIN CUTS YOUR HAIR TO MAKE YOU BALD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" There was a pause. Then Deidara came and was fully dressed with his Akatsuki cloak. He was just buttoning it right now. "Can I bring someone with me?"

Pein pouted. "I want my milk and cookies now!' Then Pein ran off. "...So do I get to bring Sasori by force?"

Zetsu shrugged. "I guess"

**Sasori's Room**

"What do you want Deidara?" Sasori was being cold to everyone these days. He wasn't his usual self. After the first week, that is...He started asking Pein every hour if Konan was back with the information. He kept asking questions like did she see Sakura? Was Sakura still alive? It always had Sakura in the question.

Deidara looked innocent. "What? Why are being so mean to me? Yeah. I just wanted to tell you that Pein ordered you to come with me to retrieve Konan. Yeah. I know the exact location on where she is. She's currently cring herself to death and keeps calling out for Pein. Yeah"

"Why would I want to go with you?"

"Because she's loaded with information directly told by Sakura." Sasori's ears perked up. Deidara continued, "Konan even got some useless information like her favorite food, favorite color..."

"I'm going!"

"Yays! Yeah"

**Konan **

"Wah! Pein! Pein! Pein!..."

"What's up? Yeah"

"Deidara? Sasori? I said Pein! Not you two!"

"Well, I'm sorry that I'm not Pein. He wanted his milk and cookies. Yeah"

Sasori walked towards Konan. "What's the information?"

Konan shrugged. "Not much. Naruto and Sasuke are secretly in love. There's a spy from Akatsuki. Sakura's favorite food is strawberries. Her favorite color is pink. On the first day, I had a bad dream with Sasori in it. Sakura's secretly in love with Sasori."

"Shut up!" Deidara yelled. "The real info! The real info! Anything important that Pein shold know!"

"Oh! That was what you were talking about! In that case..."

"Sakura's secretly in love with me?" Sasori interrupted.

"Yes"

Deidara tapped his foot. "Enough about Sakura! Yeah. Let's talk about what Pein wants. Yeah" At the mention of Pein, she sighed happily. "Pein wants to know that Konoha found our hideout and knows how to open it. They're planning on attacking tomorrow morning. She sighed. "Pein!"

"So Sakura loves me?"

"Yes"

"Anything else Pein wants? Yeah"

"No"

"Let's go then. Yeah" Deidara hopped on his bird and Konan did the same thing. Sasori just stood there though. His head was down.

**Lclsurfer: Happy late Halloween! Well, this was supposed to be on Halloween. That is so sad. I don't mean my deadlines. Mainly because I have to much homework this year. Too much homework! So dead from carrying so much books. Even more dead because I have to bring my violin too. Even more dead now because of the box of candy! It's fundraising. Dead! **

**Wah! Macy and Kevin are making me feel sad because they made fun my love Deidara! They made up a nickname for him...I can't!...I just can't!...Ok, whatever! Deadara! Wah! Wah! I'm crying! Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! Haunted house was fun! zomg! I want to reach 2000+ words so yeah...I was so close! Off by 200 more words! **


	9. War is for Toys

**Toy 9**

**War is for Toys**

Pein started pacing. They were gone for five minutes later. They should've been here four minutes and fifty-nine seconds ago. Pein was on the verge of crying. "Omg! What's taking them so long?" While he was crying he was also chewing on his cookies. Hinata panicked. "Uh, don't worry Pein! Do you want more cookies and milk?" In three years she had grown taller with longer hair. Over the years she had lost interest in Naruto and started making Akatsuki cookies. Most of the time she makes them look like Pein. Yays! Another Pein fan girl! Hinata started liking Pein every since he gave her a chocolate heart two years ago. In reality, Pein gave it to her because he stole one from Itachi that was given from Kisame. Pein intended to hide it from Itachi so he could eat it later. Hinata thought he gave it to her though. Well, you should know that Konan likes Pein too. I'll tell you the story of what happens when Hinata and Konan are alone together…

First they glare for an hour. Then they start talking normally. Third they start yelling. Fourth they fight. Lastly, the Akatsuki bet on who wins until Hinata and Konan find out they're being watched. See! Wasn't that long? (Sips orange juice) Back to the story!

Pein started crying. Hinata covered her ears and ran out the door. A few minutes later, she came back with Fluffy. Fluffy was a teddy bear that was already wearing out. One of its eyes is gone and half the stuffing was gone and no one felt like fixing it. There was still a hole where the stuffing was still falling out. Konan tried to take it while he was sleeping and Pein woke up and cried the whole day. Hinata asked Pein if he wanted it fixed but Pein started going teary and told her that's there is nothing wrong with Fluffy.

The Akatsuki leader took the teddy bear and started sucking his thumb. Hinata sighed and sat on a chair. "There you go! Fluffy will always be with you."

Pein turned to the ceiling and started staring at it. Hinata wondered. "What is it?" Pein started pointing. "There's some screaming."

"Oh, really?"

**Deidara, Sasori, and Konan**

Deidara screamed. "Omg! What are you doing?! Yeah" Sasori was steering the birdie. Konan screamed. "Whee! This is so fun! How can you not think this is fun Deidara? Wheeeee!" Deidara threw up. "This is making me airsick. Yeah"

It was suddenly quiet. Sasori broke the silence. "How can you be airsick? You fly all the time."

Deidara yelled. "Because it's easy to get to places."

Konan replied. "Didn't you make a lot of twirls and circles when you were being chased by Gaara?"

"That's different! Yeah"

"…"

"That was actually fun"

Konan said to Sasori. "Go really fast with lots of loops and twirls and zigzags and stuff like that!"

Sasori nodded. "Yep!"

Konan and Deidara screamed again.

**Pein and Hinata**

Pein was still looking at the ceiling. Hinata started getting nervous. "Um…Pein…I have something to tell you…"

"What?"

"I…I…I…I know it s-s-s-sounds s-s-s-s-silly b-b-b-b-b-but…………"

There was some faint screaming on the ceiling. Then there was loud thump and the ceiling broke. There was Deidara's bird. Deidara, Sasori, and Konan were on top of it. Deidara threw up again. Konan screamed. "That was so fun! Again! Again! Again!" Sasori jumped off. "What's up? Sasori at your service!" Sasori did the military thing.

Pein clapped and cheered. "Again! Do that again!"

Deidara cried out. "No! I'm not letting anyone else touch my bird again. Yeah"

Konan sulked and went into a dark corner.

Deidara sweat dropped. Sasori said, "They found our hideout and is planning on invading tomorrow morning." Pein gasped dramatically. "Prepare the special weapon!"

The Akatsuki hushed. Sasori looked scared. "Not the secret weapon!"

Deidara fell to the floor. "Not the secret weapon!"

Konan ran behind Pein. Hinata got jealous. "Not the secret weapon!"

Pein dropped his head. "Whatever. Forget you!"

Konan cried. "No! Don't leave Pein! She grabbed on his leg. Pein started dragging her. Then he got annoyed and shook her off which was easy.

**Akatsuki Meeting**

Everyone was there this time. Pein started. "Ok! Konoha is going to attack us. I have to bring a matter that concerns everyone in this room."

Itachi screamed in horror.

Pein said, "What?! I didn't even say anything yet!"

Itachi went into a dark corner. "I know. We have to dress as clowns and laugh and play." Kisame believed that. Kisame went to the dark corner with Itachi. Zetsu started crying. "We do?"

Pein growled. "NO!!! We're going to use the secret weapon!"

Hidan looked surprised. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Kakuzu started freaking out and started shaking Hidan. "We have to use the secret weapon! Ah!"

Zetsu started crying harder and chewed on his blanket. "We do?"

Tobi was confused. "What's the secret weapon?"

Everyone screamed. Only the leader can say the secret weapon during a meeting. Then they all cried except Pein and Tobi. Pein walked toward Tobi and whispered what the secret weapon was. Tobi screamed and started crying. Pein looked everywhere. "Um…what do I do now?"

Pein was the only one immune to this. He walked out the door leaving the rest f the Akatsuki members crying.

**Konoha**

Tsunade walked into the streets of Konoha where every single ninja was. "We're going to invade Akatsuki tomorrow! ARE YOU READY??????!!!!!!!!!!"

"YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone cried out and cheered happily.

**The Next Day**

Sakura sighed. Today was the day she would see Sasori again.

**Akatsuki**

Everyone was worried. They knew it would work, but they were so scared of the secret weapon. It was just so frightening to them.

**Forest between Konoha and Akatsuki Hideout**

Tsunade cried out. "ARE YOU READY??????!!!!!!!!!!!"

"YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

They started running towards the hideout where it was still dead quiet. Then suddenly two Akatsuki members came out. It was a guy that had his black hair tied to a ponytail. The other guy was blue with a huge sword. Sakura stopped running and gasped. She remembered who they were. They were Itachi and Kisame. Kisame grabbed hold of his Samehada. Itachi closed his eyes for a second and it turned to Sharingan. Two more came out. Hidan and Kakuzu. Kakuzu had his tentacles out already. Hidan was ready to swipe someone's blood.

Kunai stopped some people up front. Tobi was randomly throwing a bunch of them everywhere. He had an armful of them. Deidara flew out from the ceiling that was already broken and had some explosives ready to throw. In the corner of Sakura's eyes, she saw Zetsu blend with a tree. Pein just stood there with his scary eyes of Rinnegan. A flow of papers flew around them and everyone in Konoha stopped dead. They all finally noticed the Akatsuki. The flow of papers formed Konan. Sakura gasped. She helped the Akatsuki.

She was upset but it was different reason. Where is Sasori?

**Lclsurfer: Happy Thanksgiving! I wrote this and finished this a week ago but I don't want to be late again so here you goes. **

**One week ago: I'm going to be busy in this week. One thing is that I'm going to Catalina on November 14-16. It's a school trip just like Outdoor Science School. I talked about that once or twice in my writing right? Wow! Two years ago! Anyways, I just went to Red Rock and Las Vegas yesterday so I'm dead tired. Plus, my leg is dead. Stupid brother! Killing my leg like that. **

Right now: Um…I added a poll in my profile so go vote for your favorite AKATSUKI MEMBER! Catalina was fun! Really tiring but fun! Except for the fact that I lost my homework and we had to wear those tight ugly wetsuits! (cries) I added this one late too...I think I'm becoming Kakashi!


	10. Looking is for Toys

**Toy 10**

**Looking is for Toys**

Sakura looked everywhere. She just couldn't find him. The pink haired ninja ran everywhere. She passed battle after battle. The Konoha ninjas were falling one after another. 'The Akatsuki are stronger than before' Sakura thought. 'No, I can't let that get through me head…it's time I fight Sasori and end this!'

**Sasori**

"Again, why am I being TAKEN HOSTAGE???!!!!!!!!!"

"You're talking to yourself." Zetsu appeared out of a nearby wall. Sasori turned his head. "What are doing here? Aren't you supposed to be fighting right now?"

Zetsu whined, "But I got bored fighting so I started watching people, but then one of them hit me. So then I ran away so I can watch this next fight." Zetsu turned into the wall.

Sasori got excited. "Really? I get to fight? Woohoo! Untie me then! I want to get ready." He waited a few minutes and then said, "Hey, Zetsu!" While he was waiting, he had untied himself. Sasori got annoyed that Zetsu was ignoring him. He took off his shoe and threw it at the wall where Zetsu disappeared. "Ow!" It was muffled and it was the white side's voice. Sasori pouted. "Hmph. That's what you get for ignoring me"

**An hour later…**

A card flipped. "I win!" Sasori cheered and did the victory dance. Zetsu threw all the cards everywhere. "No fair! I want to play again! There's no chance. We've lost exactly 73 times and won 0 times. You counted? Of course."

Sasori stretched. "I'm bored. When is this person coming already?"

Zetsu shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think she got lost."

"A woman? I'm fighting a woman?"

"Yep"

Sasori turned his head. "Someone's coming."

Zetsu shook his head in shame. "After all this time, you could've prepared for this battle. But no, you just wanted to play cards. I think you're hanging out with Deidara too much.

**Sakura**

She huffed and shook in the cold. She had forgotten how cold it was in the hideout. She could see the breath turn into puffs of clear white and into clouds. She ran for what seemed like hours.

She slowed down. Sakura fell down to take a rest. Then she heard faint voices. She crawled closer to the voices. She stopped immediately, frozen in fear. She heard Sasori's voice. She slowly got up and started to run again. A few more steps and she saw Sasori. Her longing for him grew and when she got close enough, Sakura made a long jump.

Sasori looked the same. He hadn't aged a bit. "Ah! A monster is on me! Zetsu! Help me!" Sasori started running around in circles, freaking out. Sakura was tired but she wanted to keep holding on.

**Zetsu**

He tried to stifle a laugh but couldn't. It was so funny to see Sasori freaking out.

**Sasori**

'Get this girl off me!' Then he stopped which left the girl on him surprised so she fell. Sasori turned to face her and pointed. "You're Sakura." He widened his eyes. "Ah! Sakura's old!"

Sakura jumped at Sasori again. Sasori yelled again. Then he sighed. "I have a magnet. Wait! I have an idea!" He pulled out a Sasori plushie. Then he threw it at a random direction. "Go fetch!"

Sakura let go and ran after that direction. Five minutes later, she came back with the plushie and threw it hard at his face. "Don't trick me like that."

Sasori pouted. "Well, you were acting like a fan girl. And I don't like fan girls."

Sakura got into a fighting stance. "Well, we're going to fight to the death now."

Sasori cocked his head and said, "Why?"

"Because you're the enemy"

"Really?! I thought we were friends. Hey, don't you want to come back and live with us again? We would have to move somewhere else though…"

Sakura was taken back. "We're friends? Wait! I was your servant! What are you talking about?"

Sasori smirked. "Just try and hit me"

Sakura growled and ran for him. She tried to punch him but she hit a wall instead. The wall was in pieces and it was in crumbles. Sasori laughed. "So they trained you to be a strong but slow person. Boring!"

"What are you talking about?" Then she ran at him with full speed. Sasori just barely dodged it which caught him by surprise. "Is that all you got? Well then, it's my turn." He pulled out a puppet from the next room and the puppet threw a few needles at her. Sakura dodged them all. There was only three needles anyway.

"Are you taking me seriously?"

"No. Do I have to?"

"It would be better if you did." Sakura hit a punch on him this time. A few pieces of wood fell on the floor. Sakura gasped. "Surprised? I thought you already knew I was a puppet."

"Well I thought it wasn't true."

"It's true and it doesn't hurt." He stuck his tongue out.

"I will kill you, Sasori! No matter what it takes!"

"Liar! Now go make me some tea! I'm thirsty."

Sakura rushed at him again. Sasori jumped out of the way. "Konoha needs your help anyways. They're dying outside. You should go help them before I kill them all."

Then there was a distant yawn. Sasori got annoyed. "What the hell? You just ruined the moment!"

Zetsu came out from his hiding spot. "What? It got too boring so I fell asleep. I woke up again when somebody said tea. That made me hungry…anyways, this is boring! I'm going watch Pein fight Jiraiya now. They should be almost done by now. Bye!"

Sasori made a fist and yelled at Zetsu after he left. Five hours passed and they were still technically fighting. Sakura fell. She was exhausted.

"Now what did you learn today?"

"That you should be dead right now"

"Aw, don't be a party pooper and have some fun! Enjoy life to its fullest!" Sasori pulled out a horn and sang the birthday song.

"I'll retreat for now but I'll be back."

**Outside with Sakura**

'I wanted to hold him and say I loved him but the words couldn't come out so I just fought and fought. I lost too." Sakura gasped. He was right. Most of the Konoha ninjas were dead and only a few were alive.. Sakura cried.

**Lclsurfer: Merry Christmas! Hope you got what you wanted for Christmas! I did! Part of it….there was some problems. (Screams) I got two Deidara plushies and his headband! Two of my friends bought the same thing on the same day. They're both small. No, they're not the bigger one. I want that too. We were so last that we didn't set up the Christmas tree this year. Santy Claus didn't come. -.-**


	11. Taking Pictures is for Toys

**Toy 11**

**Taking Pictures is for Toys**

Sasori stared at the spot where Sakura last was. He murmured, "Why didn't I say it? I'm so stupid!" He kicked a rock and it skidded to the wall. Zetsu popped out on the wall in front of the mourning red head. The carnivore shook his head in shame. "My poor member of the famed Akatsuki, why are you doing this to yourself? It would have been better if you had just told her. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! That's all you had to say and you messed it up."

Sasori glared at him. Zetsu didn't seem to notice the dangerous glare so he continued. "Seriously you are so dumb! Yes white side, you are right. Sasori confessing would have made the best scene ever. It would have been so beautiful to watch, to see my children growing up. Blackie, I can't believe you're agreeing to me because most of the ti-"Zetsu finally noticed his glare but that was after he saw his blankie taken as hostage.

Zetsu tried to act like a psychologist. "There, there. Put that down right now. We don't want anyone to get hurt. We're very good people that are citizens to this world. No body likes someone that takes someone else's blankie as hostage."

Sasori mimicked. "_My poor member of the famed Akatsuki, why are you doing this to yourself?"_

"Oh no you did not just steal my words!" Zetsu looked offended. The green haired plant took a step forward. Sasori stayed put. He had a confident smile on his face. "One more step and you can say bye bye to this." He waved the blue thing high in the air to make sure Zetsu had a good view of it.

Zetsu went down on his knees. He was in shock of what to do. Sasori waved it one last time and burned it using a match. When it was on fire, Zetsu looked at it and whimpered. He was on the verge of tears. "5…4…3…2…1" Sasori counted down. At one, the blue wonder had completely disappeared and turned what survived into ashes. At one, Zetsu took the ashes, went to a corner of the room, and started crying hysterically. Sasori laughed at this sight and walked away without a glance back.

**The Rest of the Akatsuki**

A forest that was once full of life was completely transformed into a barren desert full of dead bodies. Only the strong survived. There was few lawn chairs out. Itachi fanned himself. He sighed. "It's hot! Kisame, make some iced drinks for me." Pein sipped from a cup of lemonade. "He's not here."

Itachi looked up and took off his sunglasses. "Then where is he?" He had a worried look on his face. Pein sipped again. "Don't know, died?" Itachi got up from his chair and started walking to the direction of nearby lakes and ponds. Hidan whined. "Ah! Why is it so hot?"

Tobi wondered. "If it's so hot for you, then why are you tanning yourself under the sun? There are a few dead trees that are still standing. Hidan spit out, "You stupid! This is my religion!"

Tobi asked, "So it's your religion to tan yourself every time you kill someone?"

Hidan took out the dagger in his pocket and threw it at Tobi. It hit his arm. For a second, nothing happened. Then he started to run everywhere, screaming and howling in circles. Hidan breathed in deeply and then pulled out the scythe. Pein continued to sip from the cup. He was holding it with both hands and staring off into space. Hidan coughed blood and sat on Itachi's chair. Kakuzu looked up from his newspaper and threw a rock at Tobi. It hit him and he fell unconscious. "Shut up!" Kakuzu went back to reading the Most Wanted section. Konan woke up from her slumber and looked around. Her eyes locked on Pein. "Pein, where did you get that?"

Pein gulped the rest and threw the glass up away. He said innocently, "I found it in Konoha." Konan screamed and jumped onto Pein. "That's just too cute! Marry me!"

Pein calmly tried to push her away. It didn't work so he tried with all his force. He pushed for ten seconds and gave up. In the sky, a white bird was flying in circles. After a few minutes, it dropped down and Deidara jumped off and sat on Konan's chair. He also had a cup of lemonade.

Konan looked up. "Hey! That's my chair and give me that cup of delicious lemonade!"

Deidara pouted. "No! I'm hungry. Yeah"

**Itachi**

He wandered aimlessly for awhile because he forgot where the lakes were. Even though his legs were killing him, he trudged on. Then he heard a splash. He ran with all of his might and stopped. There was a pond and Kisame was swimming in it. Itachi cried and cried when he saw him. Kisame stopped and swam to him. "Why are you crying?"

"I thought you died. You weren't with us in the end so I thought that you" Itachi cried again. He couldn't say the word. Kisame hugged him. "It's okay"

**Sasori**

Sasori smirked. He took the picture and ran off. He had taken some really good pictures.

**Back to the Akatsuki Hangout**

Kakuzu glanced up and went back to reading. "Sasori's back."

Sasori had a really happy look on his face. "I took some really good pictures and I'm posting it on the internet." Kakuzu threw down the newspaper and went up to Sasori. He took the camera and looked at the pictures. It was one of those digital cameras with high definition. Kakuzu gasped and slapped Sasori on the face. "What the-?"

"We should be selling this! Not posting it on the internet so anyone can see this! I had an idea but I never thought it was this big!" Sasori stole it back. You have my permission to sell these pictures but I can do anything I want with these. And first, I want to finish taking pictures before I give them to you."

"Oh yeah, here you go Konan." I developed this for you!" Konan ran to get the developed picture and kissed it. Sasori took a few pictures of that. Konan blushed and turned angry. "Give me that camera!"

"No, it's mine! See, its part of the contract that you can't touch other members' belongings."

Konan growled and pounced to get the contract. She missed. "Stop. There's no use. There are more than a dozen copies. There's no use to rip that up." Pein said in his sleep. Konan sulked. "That's not fair."

The next few days were quiet from both sides. Well, kind of quiet. Konoha had a huge funeral service for those who died in the war. The Akatsuki was having trouble dealing with Sasori. He kept slipping away from trouble. Tobi tried to poison him, but puppets don't eat and his body was filled with poison anyways. Zetsu and Kisame destroyed one of his bodies but again, he's a puppet. Others were smarter and tried to target the chakra….thing…

He was always taking pictures. The next week, all of his pictures were posted everywhere. They were so famous it reached the gossip magazines and TV stations. The next month, everyone knew about this. The most talked about pictures was the one where Kisame was with Itachi. They were everywhere that they had to break up. Sasori brang a video camera for that.

One day, all of them cornered Sasori. He was completely trapped this time. Sasori whimpered in fear. Kisame showed his sharp teeth. "I'm going to break you into pieces." Itachi drew out a sword and aimed it the chakra thing. Konan and Zetsu glared evilly. Their eyes were still red from crying. Hidan put on a Dracula costume and drank some blood. Kakuzu had his tentacles out. Deidara was the only one that didn't go. Seems like Sasori didn't bother with Deidara.

Pein growled. "Why are you doing this? Before you were an annoying brat and now you're spreading rumors."

"Not rumors, facts" Itachi tapped the chakra thing with his blade. Sasori closed his mouth.

Pein asked again. "Why are you doing this? Why are you changing?"

"Don't know. New hobby?"

Pein started to stiffen up. Then he cried really hard and ran away hollering, "I don't like you anymore!"

Itachi warned, "I will kill you!"

Tobi asked, "You sabotaged everyone but you and Deidara. Why?"

Sasori shrugged, "Haven't you heard? We're officially yaoi partners!"

Everyone still there gasped except Tobi. Then they freaked out. "Omg! We have to buy presents! The second official Akatsuki yaoi pairing!" Sasori coughed. They turned his heads to him again. "That's for the anime. In this fanfic, it's Sasori and Sakura."

"Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" The Akatsuki understood.

Kakuzu cheered. "Yes! I don't have to buy anything!" Then the rest of the Akatsuki went away. Sasori breathed a sigh of relief. He thought he was going to die. It was so close to him dying. He stood up and brushed himself. Sasori walked to Deidara's room to not raise suspicion.

He found Deidara reading a book titled Eclipse. He had a cookie in his mouth. Then he suddenly gulped the whole cookie and started crying. "Omg! I love Jasper's story! It's so sad and cute!" Sasori jumped onto the bed and hugged him. "Hi, yaoi partner!"

Deidara screamed and pushed him away. He then sat on the edge of the bed looking cautiously at Sasori's next move. "What was that for? Yeah"

Sasori pouted. "Treat your yaoi partner with respect!"

Deidara shook his head. "What are you talking about?! Itachi and Kisame are!"

"Didn't you hear? Masashi Kishimoto made us yaoi partners!"

Deidara screamed again. "No way! Yeah. That can be true! Yeah. Sasori-danna can't be my yaoi partner! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Sasori just stared at him. Outside, some of the members were spying on them. Hidan bet Tobi that Deidara would never accept the fact that they're yaoi partners."

Sasori slowly crawled to Deidara and patted his head. "It's just for the anime. No this fanfic. Maybe other fanfics, but not this one. Deidara cried louder. Sasori put his fingers in his ears because his crying could be deafening. The other members did the same. Tobi gave up. He knew he was going to lose so he gave Hidan his money. The money got stolen by Kakuzu. It was a hundred bucks. He shifted his eyes and quietly left with the money.

Zetsu chewed on his new blankie. This time it was red. He thought, 'Sasori changed. Instead of being bratty, he's being kind of smart in being annoying. I know he's having fun but he's not showing any emotion saying that he loves doing this. Tsk. I hate to admit this but I'd rather have the old Sasori."

One by one the members left Deidara and Sasori alone. When they were finally alone, Sasori whispered to Deidara. "Hey, stop crying. It's true but I have something that I need you to do. I can't do it myself because Pein, Konan, and Zetsu are closely watching me. They think that I'm going to do something bad that will ruin their world domination plan. I just need you to send a message to Sakura. Fly on your explosive bird and place this paper in her hand. Go this midnight. Once you're done, fly high in the air and explode the bird."

"Or else? Yeah"

"Or else I'll spoil the rest of this book for you. Edward-"

Deidara yelled again. Sasori smirked. He took a piece of tightly folded paper out of his pocket. He placed the paper in between Deidara's fingers in case his mouths might eat it. Deidara stopped yelling and placed it in his pocket. He nodded and went back to reading. Sasori smiled and walked out and went to his own room. He sighed.

Everything happens at the strike of midnight.

**Sakura**

She stared at the sunset. What was she going to do? It had already been a month since they last met. Maybe the same thing will happen and she'll meet him again in three years. She sighed in disappointment. Sakura had gotten so angry that she had forgotten to tell him.

She loved him.

Like everyone else, she had already heard about the Akatsuki pictures on the internet. They were a big laugh now. Though some were still frightened. Most of the citizens were laughing. The remaining ninjas tried to find the Akatsuki members but they found no trace of them. When they went to the hideout, they broke through easily. There was no trace of them though. It was like a cave. They had already packed their stuff and left. It was completely empty.

Sakura took out a kunai and twirled it. She was bored. Ever since that battle, barely any of the other countries had called them for missions. Konoha was big in debt now. Tsunade barely had any work now so all she did as drink all day. She was drunk all the time now.

**10 o-clock**

Deidara looked at his watch. He was completely bored and he still had to wait for an hour. The impatient blond had already finished the book and was now exploding the trees outside. They had changed their hideout to another forest. It was a rain forest that was next to the Rain country. It took an hour to go to Konoha. Deidara glanced at his watch again. The minute hand didn't even move yet. He couldn't wait any longer.

He summoned his flying bird and flew to the direction of Konoha. Sasori pulled the curtains. He looked outside. Deidara was gone. He growled. He had left an hour early. The Konoha nins must really want to get back at them for ruining their lives. They must've have raised their security. There was a 50-50 chance that Deidara might die since most of their ninjas were killed.

**11 o-clock**

Deidara flew for an hour. He saw Konoha now. He searched in his pocket. There he found a map. Sasori had also drawn a map to lessen the problem of trying to find in this big country. He also took the note and unfolded it. He smirked. It sounded so cheesy. He thought about changing the words but thought his own plan would work better. He was going to get back at Sasori for telling him those spoilers. Sasori had came back to tell him a major spoiler that was supposed to make him cry but didn't. It was a big sacrifice and he wasn't talking about getting killed by a bunch of weaklings.

He found her house easily. She was sleeping. These days, there was nothing to do. Deidara placed it in her hand and placed something on her desk.

He flew outside and left his bird in the sky. He ran to another bird that was outside of the boundaries and exploded the bird that was above Konoha…

Sakura woke up and looked at her surrounding. She soon noticed the note in her hand and unfolded it. It was dark so she couldn't see the words. She walked slowly to her desk. There she found another thing. She stared at both things and gasped and remembered the explosion that woke her up.

She ran outside and found everyone awake and running everywhere. They thought there was another attack.

Deidara smirked. Sasori growled. He hadn't thought of that.

**Lclsurfer: There's two people in my school that are so obsessed with yaoi. And one of them keeps saying that the creator of Naruto made Deidara and Sasori an official yaoi pairing. So that's why. Yay! This is 2600 plus words! I'm still aiming for a lengthy chapter. **


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